It’s “about that time”… moving time… 3 days now … lots of “this will be the last time” comments… boxes are multiplying …. our stuff — dividing … emotions are adding up… strength, subtracting,
…and somehow the sum total of it all is– GRACE.
Grace as we break bread with friends who love us through the address changes…who really will come to visit even though it’s 16 hours away…who will answer their phone at 3 a.m. if any of our kids call…who love us and pray for us and our kids as if we all came from the same family tree…
Grace as I listened to one daughter and her friend (our friend, too !) sing words like–
“we want to thank you so much!
may every breath you breathe be built on sacred things…
these are twisted times when trust and truth collide…
everyone around wants to give you their hands
everyone around puts their hands on your back
and they say: we want to thank you so much!…
cause all you did for them, you also did for us” (from Hey Rosetta’s “A Thousand Suns”)
Grace as I watched one son shove a “little something” in his daddy’s hands because he wanted to help with our financial needs . And the amount doesn’t matter because it’s his big heart that is priceless…saying goodbye to us a little earlier because that same big heart of his is taking him to the inner city this week …to walk with the poor and love people with Jesus …me heaving tears of grace…(http://www.thehartfordproject.org/ )
Grace as little children gave hugs and kisses, bouncing on the couch singing, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” , asking for more food and more swinging outside because that’s what Nana and Papa’s house is all about.
Grace as our other son remembered… remembered that today was our last service at our church here in Connecticut… remembered what it was like saying goodbye to people and places who’ve carved their names in our hearts…and remembered to send a note to remind us that he and the love of his life were praying for us as we walked this journey today –and I don’t know why but something about someone just remembering… this pours grace into my soul that just overflows right out !
Grace as another daughter sang a song for us that she wrote…
“Break me down, Break me down
Till the pieces of me trace a picture of you.
Fill me now, Fill me now.
Breathe your life into dust make me whole again.
(And I will surrender)…
Mercy, Thing of Beauty,
That you’d live and you’d die
just to love what you made.
Take me, Make me Holy,
May I live to reflect the great
price that you paid.” (Words and music by Carrye Martin Burr)
…and my heart broke into a million pieces today as grace was shared from friends and family– all sitting around our large family table — a table of grace itself. Grace — not in large places with banners and speeches of politicians– but grace right here in our little living room– an intimate gathering of friends and family half our age who double our blessing.
And in these “twisted times where trust and truth collide”, I’m trusting that the Great Artist of my soul will truly ” take my broken pieces and trace a picture of Himself”. And as the picture begins to emerge — Oh, Father…please stitch the pieces together using the threads of joy and suffering and “breathe Your life into (my) dust (and) make me whole again.”