Friendships {What Really Matters}


A friend and I found ourselves sitting at a funeral home — bearing witness to the life of a dear friend who was gone way before her time.  And how do you hold on to the family and help them bear the burden  of such a great loss when your own heart is broken and feels the weight-bearing limit has already been exceeded.

In these moments when words seem so trite, you find yourself looking for real.  Simple.  The most important thing. What on earth do you say when the reality is beyond this world of thinking?  How can you be a good friend through pain so unimaginable?

At a loss for words, a deep truth tucked way back in my memory seemed to push its  way forward in what seemed to make the most sense and these simple words spilled out …

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15 NKJV)

Could it be that in these words,  God is giving us an uncomplicated way to being a real friend in any situation. Simple. Real. What  matters most.

And after  many years of trying to be a good friend, I’m coming more and more to this simple way as being my guiding light …

Rejoice with those who rejoice…

When a friend is happy…be happy with them. Laugh.  Have a good ole time!  Celebrate the things in life that bring them joy.  Share in  their excitement over  the happiness life has brought them–whether big or small.  And in those harder occasions when it seems they’re getting all the good breaks  and I’m still waiting for mine to come …yes, even then!


Even when they get a shiny new car (or  cozy coupe)  and I’m  still driving around a clunker (or a pink scooter-vehicle) …choose to be happy with them and for them.

Weep with those who weep…

Life is made up of joy and sorrow.  Just as the tide comes in and out, joy and sorrow flow– mingling together. Weeping and sorrow are a part of life that no one can escape.  Learn to grieve with others.  And if I feel awkward and my tears aren’t flowing in sync,  I’ll remember this …weeping isn’t just something that leaks from the eyes. Hearts can weep just as deeply.  “Be yourself,” I’ll say, and “Weep with” in the best way I can.

And if the night of weeping seems to go on and on, patiently love and wait with anticipation for that sweet promise from God to be fulfilled — “Weeping may last through the night but joy comes with the morning!”(Psalm 30:5 NLT) Morning light will break and I’d love to be around  when it does.


And in all of this …

Give grace …just as much grace as I would want given to me.

Be with … never underestimate the power and impact of simply “being with” a friend.  Jesus modeled that when He promised He would always be with us and never leave us.  He’s a “be with” kind of Friend and One we can always count on but He has chosen — even in this broken, messed up world — to use others as well.  Accept that as a gift we have within ourselves to be a “be with” kind of friend and share that when God gives  the opportunity.

I’m still learning …


“…Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.”

Romans 12:15 (MSG)

Special thanks to my grandkids in these photos who are great models  of what it means to be a good friend! 🙂

And another Special Thanks  and SHOUT OUT to Alchemy Lounge in Huntsville, Alabamafor their awesome latte and inviting space for this photo! It was truly inspiring!  Be sure to visit them at Lowe Mill ARTS & Entertainment, 2211 Seminole Drive – Studio 2073, Huntsville, Alabama.


8 thoughts on “Friendships {What Really Matters}

  1. “Hearts can weep just as deeply ”
    It would be nice if people truly understood and accepted those that don’t openly gush and cry all the time. ..but then, it takes all kinds of kinds. ..


    • Faith — I have learned so much from you and this is yet another perspective that I needed to have. There are so many ways people celebrate as well as grieve. I’m still learning …still growing …still needing a lot of grace in the process of growing up. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your thoughts really matter. Hopefully we’ll all keep the conversation going and learn from each other …appreciating each other & the differences as well. Loves ~ Joy


  2. amen. rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. simple and poignant. Job’s friends did THEEEEE best job when they did just that. they wept with him. for 7 days, no less. that’s friendship. presence. especially in pain.

    Liked by 1 person

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